I titled it The Insomniac's Dream.
It was an incredibly ambitious project that ultimately received a lukewarm response. Since then, she and I have remained good acquaintances who infrequently catch up by way of sporadic IMs, impromptu dinner parties and midnight screenings.
Then a few days ago I received this e-mail:
Hey,
so I just reread your picture letter, 'cause I needed a refresher. and I have to say I got much more out of it this time than the first. I was so overwhelmed by all the time and attention you were giving me, and the thought and work you put into making that happen, that I shut down and ran and hid. so, now that I know you better and am at a better place in my life I see how totally awesome that letter is. you are such a romantic, you get to drag the rest of us along in your beautiful world.
-- J.
What does this mean? I really don't know.
Will she be mine?
But all these years later, it seems that my words, my efforts, still left an impression -- a positive one.
So it wasn't for naught, or solely an exercise to reconcile myself with the Grand Romantic Gesture, and I guess that's something.
No, it really is something.
It's everything.
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