Monday, December 31, 2012

The Insomniac's Dream: Resolution

Nearly five years ago I wrote a photo letter to a special someone named Justine.

I titled it The Insomniac's Dream.

It was an incredibly ambitious project that ultimately received a lukewarm response.  Since then, she and I have remained good acquaintances who infrequently catch up by way of sporadic IMs, impromptu dinner parties and midnight screenings.

Then a few days ago I received this e-mail:


so I just reread your picture letter, 'cause I needed a refresher.  and I have to say I got much more out of it this time than the first.  I was so overwhelmed by all the time and attention you were giving me, and the thought and work you put into making that happen, that I shut down and ran and hid.  so, now that I know you better and am at a better place in my life I see how totally awesome that letter is.  you are such a romantic, you get to drag the rest of us along in your beautiful world.

-- J.

What does this mean?  I really don't know.

Will she be mine?  Probably not.  No.

But all these years later, it seems that my words, my efforts, still left an impression -- a positive one.

So it wasn't for naught, or solely an exercise to reconcile myself with the Grand Romantic Gesture, and I guess that's something.

No, it really is something.

It's everything.